Sunday, July 9, 2017

Yes, I am a bleeder (old November 2011 post)

It is an old post from November 2011, which after editing a tiny bit on the original; it did not want to show up
Instead of trying to figure out my issue; I just decided to repost and be done with it.

Yes, I am a bleeder
I may be a normal girl
I might act like you
But I am not near like you
I am not the same as you
I am unable to be a normal, average woman
You will never understand me ¶

Yes, I am what is called a bleeder

This means I bleed internally
Which you would never understand
From an outside perspective
I cannot be like everyone else
I am not able to play sports
I am very limited on what I can do ¶

You have never seen me at my worst 

You may not ever want to see it
Because you might end up not understanding
Or maybe you will understand, but 
It's all in the eye of the beholder ¶

Either way, I am who I am 

I have accepted the fact that I am the person 
I strived to be the best I can and never give up 
I cannot change myself or my bleeding disorder
For anyone because I have accepted it
Nothing can change me or my way of thinking ¶

Yes, I am a bleeder, but it has been 

Very challenging to rise to others' expectations
Most of which I am not able to achieve or accomplish
No one has ever felt what it is like to 
Have a bleeding disorder, been through all the bleeds 
I have ever had and know the feeling of being left out ¶

I always had a hard time tying to

Accomplish or achieve my goals
But I find a way, stick to my strong willed
Determination and keep going until I finish 
I always do the best I can and to the best
Of my abilities and nothing can stop me ¶

I have been questioned about why I can't

Play sports, but I tell them I am a bleeder
Therefore, I have a tendency to bleed excessively
And have to infuse my factor right away 
Or I could potentially die from all the
Bleeding internally, it's not something 
You can see from the outside ¶. 

I have always gotten bruises and most of

Those bruises come with hematomas underneath
It is not easy to explain how I got the bruise
Or saying I bruise easily because I am a bleeder
One day you will understand 
What it is like to be in my shoes ¶

Understand what I go through each and 

Every day of my life
See everything I go through from my eyes
But until that day, letting the pieces fall 
In place is all there is to do ¶

I cannot change my own bleeding disorder

I can live with and accept it as is
Or I can let it keep me down
And never accomplish anything in life
I have overcome that obstacle and will
Stay above it the rest of my life
No matter what anyone else says ¶